Evil Cherry Blossom
by 9CatLives
Summary: Sakura puts on a sweet, weak facade everyday to appear normal, even though she could kick just about anyone's butt. What happens when one day the Akatsuki decide to walk all over her normal life? sakumulti, maybe some yaoi, if I feel like it. AU gakuen Swearing
1. Chapter 1

**I fixed it! Well, I hope you enjoy this and please review! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

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Sakura was casually walking to school on a beautiful Monday morning.

Though, to her, no fucking _Monday _morning can be beautiful.

She groaned, not wanting to go to the evil place of learning.

Sighing, she continued up the path surrounded by blooming cherry blossoms.

Sakura gazed at the light blue sky. Fluffy white clouds floated here there. So free and unrestrained. Why does that sound so familiar?

She entered the school grounds and went to see which class she got in (yes, it's a Japanese school).

'1-C' Sakura thought, habitually scanning over the rest of the board.

**Cha! We're in the same class as Sasuke and Naruto!**

'Don't forget Shikamaru, Kiba, Choji, Shino, Hinata, and'

"Build board brow!" **We told her not to call us that! Stupid pig!**

'Ino' she finished her thought. "Hey!" called Sakura, putting up her nice façade.

The ponytailed blonde ran over to her pink haired friend. Sakura started walking to the entrance.

"We're all in the same class again! Isn't that great?" Ino asked excitedly, following Sakura.

"Yeah! Sasuke sure has grown up handsomely." Sakura teased, though it irked her to say it. She likes to appear normal, not the swearing, moody, bitch she actually is. To do so, do what all other normal, average girls do. Fan over hot dudes, namely the hottie of their year, Sasuke Uchiha.

They have been in the same class since the 3rd grade and became, along with Naruto, friends since they had to do a huge project together.

She sighed again and went to her classroom with Ino trailing behind.

As the pinkette opened the door, she was greeted by Naruto, Kiba, and Choji, the friendliest of the group.

"Good morning!" She replied, betraying her thoughts.

"Hey, have you heard?" asked Shikamaru. "Heard what?"

"Of the Akatsuki."

"Only that you shouldn't mess with them,"

**Though we could probably kick their asses single handedly. **

'You know that's right'

"Why?"

"They like going after freshmen. Me and Sasuke, and probably Kiba, Shikamaru, and Shino can manage," Naruto joined in.

"Hey, what do you mean probably?" growled Kiba.

Ignoring the dog-lover, he continued. "You, Hinata, Choji, and Ino can kick a dude in the balls so she's okay, but you guys gotta watch out." "But hey, I'm a guy." Choji stated.

It irritated her that he was warning _her_, who was taught by Japan's chief military martial arts instructor, Lady Tsunade, for most of her life and could shatter the ground within meters, but she kept her cool.

"Thanks for the warning," she answered simply as the Teacher walked in.

They gave their introductions and he explained all the differences between this school and last year.

The rest of the day went normally until lunch.

And fuck those poor bastards who interrupted her lunch.

Sakura and the other girls walked into the cafeteria normally, getting in line to get some extra snacks.

Sakura and Hinata made their own bento, but Ino hadn't. When it was their turn…

Ino swore she saw Naruto kissing Sasuke.

Hinata thought she saw Shikamaru being fed by Tamari, a senior who they had met a while back when she had visited last year to talk about high school.

Sakura caught a glimpse of Neji and Tenten, Sophomores in the same class who they knew 2 years ago, sneaking into a closet with red cheeks.

This is what the three of them thought/hallucinated when reality struck.

They were suddenly roughly shoved out of line, causing them to trip and fall.

"Excuse me, little freshmen. I would like a coke with a beef bun," asked an old man as he stepped in front of them, leaning on the counter. He was followed by a tan man with a stitch tattoos. "Hey, Beef buns are expensive," scolded the stitch dude.

"Hey! Don't just cut!" Ino yelled at them.

"Uh? What cha gonna do about? A little thing like you can't beat a man like me." He smirks.

**THAT SEXIST LITTLE BASTARD! LET ME AT HIM! I'LL KNOCK HIS TEETH OUT AND SEND HIM TO NEXT MONTH ON THE WAY! **

Sakura flinched. 'You idiot! Don't fucking scream!'

**Well sor-ry, not my fault he's being a bastard.**

'Bitch, whatever. Anyway, what should we do? I mean, If we do hit him our façade is done for, but if we don't, out dignity and pride will be trampled over.'

**LET'S PUNCH HIS FUCKING FACE IN!**

'You didn't hear a fucking word, did you?'

**SEXIST BASTARDS MUST DIE AND BURN IN THE PITS OF HELL!**

'SHUT UP ALL READY!'

Back to reality.

"I-I'm n-not scared." Ino stuttered.

**Course not. You're shaking with excitement. **Inner said sarcastically as she rampaged through a mental living room, hurling a piano that Sakura narrowly missed.

"Of course. You're just about to piss your panties.," he smirked said as he inched closer to Ino, his shadow enveloping her.

**Okay! That's the last straw! **

'Okay! That's the last straw!'

Sakura stepped in front of the dude, blocking his path. "We're perfectly okay with you cutting us," **No we're not**. "No we're not." Ino whispered in the pink haired girl's ear. "But please don't cause any more harm. We're just freshmen," Sakura reasoned diplomatically. The tanned man nodded in agreement.

"Nah, its way too much fun messing with Freshmen, especially your types of Bitches. And besides there's no way I'm going to listen to a rebellious pink haired bitch who's such a scared fucking weakling and pussy-"

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY YOU FUCKING DIRTY OLD MAN? GO DIE AND BURN IN HELL, MOTHERFUCKING PANSY ASS!" Sakura shrieked, punching him with all she had, sending him across the room and into the wall. When he landed, they could see he had a very bloody nose, missing teeth, was spewing blood from various places and a huge red spot where her fist mad contact.

All the girls, and everyone in their year, plus the upperclassmen, were shocked at her outburst. Sakura was panting with anger, and then charged for the man's body.

To be continued

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**I hope you liked it! Reviews are encouraging, and will quicken the next update! Sorry for any grammatical errors!**

_9_Cat**Lives**


	2. Meet the Akatsuki!

**Sorry it took a while and Sorry it's so short. Thanks for the reviews and please continue to review. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

Sakura was panting with anger, and then charged for the man's body.

By now he had stood up, albeit wobbly, and was about to make some snide remark when Sakura jump kicked him in the ribs. She smirked wildly with thrill when she heard his ribs crack. He went flying, again, into the wall, spewing blood in contact with the cold rock surface, decorating the demon's shirt and face, making her look even more demonic.

She raised her fist in preparation to land another hit to his already bloody body, but it was stopped by a tan hand holding her wrist.

"Sorry about this idiot. He gets carried away. Truthfully I'm thankful you beat the shit out of him, but we have an appointment, so feel free to eat his lunch. I already paid, unfortunately," said the masked man, lifting the bastard's beat up body over his shoulder.

He was barely able to raise a shaky hand, giving her the finger.

She arched an eyebrow.

"Do that before you get ass handed to you by a little girl with pink hair, fucker," Sakura said sweetly as she walked back to her shocked friends.

The stitched junior, now named Kakuzu, gave her one last glance before leaving and heading to the Akatsuki's base.

"Sakura! Where did that come from?" Ino asked as the pink haired girl was soon flocked by her friends.

"The old man was being a bitch, so I bitch slapped him outta here," she answered, hands on her head, as she walked away. Her friends stood there and gaping at her fleeting body.

**Well said**

Sakura nodded.

She wandered the halls for a good place to eat her lunch, listening to Inner as she graphically listed other possible moves that she could have used on the fucktard.

Meanwhile at the Akatsuki's base cough*roof*cough…

"Wait, you not screwing with us right? Hidan got beat up by a little girl, yeah?" Deidara laughed as he ate a riceball.

"Yes, he was really kicked in the ass by a pink haired freshman." Kakuzu answered, bandaging his unconscious partner.

"Pink haired? And a freshman! He's gonna be whining about this one for forever!" Kisame laughed, drinking from a can that shall not be named.

"What are you going to do leader?" Itachi asked.

"She's perked my interest. I think we'll paying the little freshman a visit," he said and laughed, his underlings giving him confused looks.

He looked to Konan and she shook her head, making him sulk in the emo corner.

After about 5 minutes he regained his confidence and ordered Deidara and Sasori to go fetch her.

The groaned, but left the roof anyway.

Back to Sakura, who was unfortunately already at the beginning of the stairs to the roof…

**If we had a jack hammer then we could of-**

'Don't even go there,' Sakura thought.

That's when movement at the top of the stairs caught her eye.

A short red headed kid with dull brown eyes and a dude that was like the combination of Ino and Naruto, with yellow hair in a ponytail, and sky blue eyes.

"Oh, Lucky! We didn't have to do anything, yeah!" cheered the Ino Naruto child

She quirked an eyebrow. The blonde smirked.

"You're coming with us," he said.

"Where?" she asked bluntly, shocking the both of them.

"Um…the roof, yeah?" the cheerful one answered, confused.

Her face lit up. "Can I eat my lunch there?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess…yeah,"

**Score!**

Sakura fist pumped.

"Take me to your leader!" She smirked.

They gave her shocked expressions, was she serious? She wanted to meet leader?

Back to the roof~

"It's gonna take them forever!" Kisame laughed when the two left.

"That was quite the big task you gave them, Leader-sama," Zetsu commented.

Konan continued, "It's probably going to take them all lunch period."

Deidara slammed open the door just as she finished.

"We're back, yeah!"

"Too fast!" they all said.

Sakura sweat dropped.

They soon shifted their attention to their pink haired guest.

"So you're the girl who beat up Hidan?" observed Kisame as he walked up to her.

Her placed a hand on her head, "I think I'll call you pinkie!"

"Call me that and I'll kill you," she responded. He chuckled.

"You've certainly got guts," Pein complimented.

"I think it would be wise to introduce ourselves, Leader-sama," Itachi suggested as he continued to eat his dango.

The orange haired man nodded and commanded the members to line up.

"I'm the leader, Pein."

"I'm the most mature, Itachi Uchiha."

"I'm his partner, Kisame Hoshigaki."

"I'm the second most mature, Sasori Akasuna."

"I'm the true artist, Deidara, yeah."

"What? What's happening? TOBY IS A GOOD BOY!"

"I'm the treasurer, Kakuzu."

"This," Kakuzu gestured to the still bloody body of Hidan, "is Hidan."

"I'm the conscience and vice-leader of this group, Zetsu."

"I'm the girlfriend of the leader and secretary, Konan."

"We make the Akatsuki!" they shouted together.

**I hope you liked it, I wasn't very sure about it. I had wanted her to kick some more ass, but I had to make it short. I will update as soon as I can**

_9_Cat**Liv****es**


	3. Allies and Confrontation

**I'm so sorry it took so long! I was sorta stumped for a while of where this fanfic would be going, but thanks to thinking in the shower (that actually is a very good place to think), I was able to come up with an enemy (it should of been obvious) and a story line. I will now try to make my updates more regular! Sorry for short chapters. I seem to have an inability to lengthen them. I tried to make this one a little longer (I don't think I succeeded), as **Korabu **suggested, so sorry if this isn't long enough T^T, but I will try harder next time! I have a feeling in my gut the next one will be a long one! A date between Sakura and Zetsu would be interesting, as I've never actually looked very much into that pairing, so thanks for the suggestion sosue16! Thank you every one who has reviewed and has followed/favorited this story! This chapter won't be a very funny chapter; it's more of a satisfying and filler chapter, but it is necessary to move on! Enjoy~!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!**

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"Good for you," Sakura said simply at the Akatsuki before she sat down, preparing to eat her lunch.

"That's it, yeah?" Deidara asked, gaping at her calmness. "Haven't you heard of the dark rumors surrounding our group?" asked the blue-skinned man, Kisame.

"Yeah, so? Rumors mean shit. I mean, I'm a super bitch for God's sake! And there are no rumors about me," she answered.

"Oh yeah, what's the deal with that?" asked Sasori. Sakura looked to said redhead, before shrugging. "I was originally a nice girl...ish, but then teacher's training turned me into a cynical bitch with more than enough power to overwhelm all the boys in my class, quite possibly more. I guess I just didn't want them to think of me any differently, and eventually it became a tiring facade," the pink haired girl answered.

Nodding, they all just continued to eat lunch.

"Would you like to join us?" asked the leader. The rest of the Akatsuki held their breath.

"No."

Pein shrugged and continued eating, his underlings sighing in relief.

"How about an ally?" continued the orange headed senior(it's a western-ish japanese school).

"An ally?" questioned the lone freshman.

Pein nodded, "We need people you are strong when we face off against Orochimaru's gang."

Sakura was intrigued. She liked the fact she was being acknowledged as strong, but she needed to clarify a few things first. "Who is this 'Orochimaru'?"

Sighing, the Akatsuki leader further explained, "He was an ex-member of the Akatsuki, but we kicked him out for being a perverted dick," a few shivered at this, namely Sasa-chan, Dei-chan and Emo-chan, "and now he's the leader of a gang in the Sound sound school east of here."

Sakura nodded. She detested perverts, another quality she inherited from her mentor.

"Sure," she shrugged. "Call me, and I'll come and help your sorry asses," she added, smirking, before handing Pein her number.

A wave of laughter swept through the roof as Sakura finished her bento.

"I've gotta go, it's almost time for classes to start and I've got some annoying conversations I need to have," she explained, sighing. They nodded, finishing their own lunches.

Sakura hurried down the stairs, since freshman classes were on the first floor.

Right when she entered her class, all eyes were on her. She ignored that and sat down at her seat. Ino and the others soon crowded around her desk.

"Sakura! What the hell?" her blonde female friend demanded.

Said cherry blossom looked up from the piece of paper she was (graphically) drawing on. "What~?" she innocently asked, playing dumb just to piss her off.

**She's always been an annoying bitch! Serves her right!**

'Inner! And here I thought you were being quiet for once!' thought Sakura.

**Like that'll ever happen!**

'I knew it was only wishful thinking...'

**Well, anyway! I think you should pay attention to the fuming asswipes in front of you.**

Mentally rolling her eyes, the pinkette did look to the now red faced group of people in front of her desk.

"Why? Or have you always been keeping this from us?" Naruto asked, hurt obvious in his eyes.  
"Why? Well I don't really know. I punched the old man because he was being a dick. I became a bitch as a way of coping with my teacher's intense training to become strong. And I think I've only been hiding this from you since 5th grade," she answered.

"But why did you hide the fact you were strong?" asked Kiba, and Shikamaru continued, "Why did you hide your true personality?"

Sakura sighed. "What would _you _have thought of a 5th grade pink haired girl who could knock you out with a blindfold and her hands tied behind her back?" she asked sharply.

A few gasped, guilt shadowing their faces. The cherry blossom chuckled, nodding her head as her suspicions were confirmed.

They left her desk when the teacher came in. The rest of the day was quiet, as her long time friends seemed to brood in their thoughts, not paying attention to the outside world around them.

Sakura grinned. She liked it quiet. She liked that she no longer had to maintain a facade that hurt, not to mention irritated her. She also liked the fact that her friends finally knew just how fucking strong she was. It felt satisfying.

Soon enough, the school day was over and she was walking home the same path she had come, but felt much better (since the day of Monday was dying, and a beautiful death it was!)(the sun was setting).

That is, until Pein called her a block from her house.

"You want me to do what now?"

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**I hope you enjoyed it! I will try to update as soon as I can after I update my other stories! The next one will be funnier! I swear! The cliffhanger should be a clue to that! Again, I'm sorry that after you're long wait you get such a tiny chapter T^T! Thank you for all the encouragement I've gotten so far! It really helped motivate me! Also! If you have noticed, reader, that I have not updated the 4 chapter within 2 weeks of the 10, so it's after the 24 of March, then please review/PM to get me off my butt (or on my butt, since I need to sit) and write! Thank you! I feel like I'm forgetting something...oh well! I always do! I'll just try to remember next chapter! **

**Next time!**

_9_Cat**Lives**


	4. Cosplay Competition

**I made my deadline, and it's Spring Break! You know what that means! If I'm in a good writing mood, you might catch the next chapter by the end of the week. Maybe...Well, thanks a bunch for the reviews! I love reading them! Sorry if you don't like this chapter because of it's weirdness. Well, its long. And I'm SUPER psyched because I always have short chapters. I hope you enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto**

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"You know, when you said you wanted strong people, I thought you were going to be fighting," stated an absolutely **livid** pink haired highschooler.

"I'm pretty sure I said 'face off', and we do fight, but we often do things like this as well," explained the orange haired leader.

Sakura merely sneered.

"Okay, maybe you did, but you never said I had to participate in anything like this!" she shouted as the leader's pierced face morphed into a smirk.

The pinkette glared axes at the man, before looking down embarrassingly at her attire and even her whole situation.

She was currently wearing a green bunny girls suit, which contrasting with her hair nicely. She glared at the tight and revealing costume before her face twisted in disgust of the sight before her.

Surrounding her were two groups of people, males, wearing similar types of clothing. On her left were the Akatsuki. On her right were a whole bunch of weird creepy ass, I'm-gonna-follow-you-home-and-rape-you dudes. Their head honcho, an eerily pale transvestite pedosnake (he had shiny long black hair and wore _makeup, _and Sakura was pretty sure he was wearing a magical girl outfit under his coat), smirked at them (which the pink haired heroine of this story dubs as 'I'm gonna rape you and there's nothing you can do to stop me' smirk) and narrowed his eyes, analyzing his opponent's clothing (that doesn't sound right…).

His eyes stopped as he came to look upon Sakura, causing said bitch grimace. The creepiest leader leading a whole bunch of other mega-creepers was staring at her, flicking a split tongue at her. Who the fuck would not be scared and fucking freaked out of their fricking mind!?

**Sakura! Get the supreme rapist to stop staring at us! I'm feeling very violated right now!**

'Trust me your not the only one! And how the fuck do I do that?'

Inner looked at her for a second (mentally) before yelling, **Punch the fucker's brains out and castrate the motherfucking dad fucking rapist!**

'Oh…okay…good idea!' thought Sakura, glaring at the man.

She snarled in disgust and laced her ferocious gaze with enough malice and murder intent to kill a tiger.

The other simply widened his smirk and looked back to the annoying pricks in front of him, sending a few mournful glances at the toys he was so close to possessing (ew, dude, I scare myself sometimes), sending shudders down their spines (that actually rhymes).

Sighing, he returned his wandering eyes to the head of the Akatsuki, who was leisurely standing before his group.

"Who's the girl? Quite a bit young for your tastes, but I can see why~," he hissed deviously.

"And just what the fuck does that mean, creeper? And even though I am young, I could still beat the fucking shit out of you, though unfortunately I doubt I could get your sick and twisted mind out without much pain," she spat, once again growling at the creepiest _thing _in existence.

He chuckled, although it sounded more like giggling, before flicking his snake-like tongue across his lips, earning the pleasing (to him)response of a visible shiver.

"True to her word, she is strong. She is an ally I recently made, and I believe she will be very useful in our future skirmishes," answered the flame haired maid.

The pedosnake simply shrugged and put on his game face again (which game he is thinking, only God knows, and I pity God), before speaking.

"Let the cosplaying competition begin!"

Which Sakura groaned at. Why the fuck was she doing this again?

0000000000000000000000000000 0000000

Sighing for the trillionth time that night, Sakura walked behind her assigned group of people.

For this thing, the Akatsuki were split into two groups, mature and immature.

The 'thing' was actually a competition set up by the number 1 sex offender and the rebellious pierced god of the dawn. The objective was to get the most votes from the nerds at the comic convention Cosplay Pageant at 10:00 that night. Why the boss had ever agreed was beyond them.

Luckily, Sakura got put into the mature group. She had nothing better to do before 10:00, since it was only 9:25, so she let her mind wonder. The two groups were meant only so that some wouldn't have to deal with the louder ones. She wondered why the people in her group chose what they chose.

You see, all the people in the mature group (besides her)were actually dressed as maids.

If Sakura remembered correctly, the other group had similar erotic types clothing. Deidara was a nurse. Kisame wore school girl uniform, with pigtails. Hidan went with a red qipao, a short one, and Toby had on a shrine maiden uniform. It was actually all very weird, but she was wearing a skin tight bunny girl suit, so she couldn't really talk.

Speaking of her suit, not only was it tight and revealing, it provided no warmth **what so ever**. It was April for God's sake! I don't think a bare shoulder, skin tight top and fishnets will protect you from the coldness of spring, and night, which made it so much worse.

Her white bunny ears and tail also attracted much attention, not that what she was actually wearing wasn't. Hell, the whole group was attracting the attention of the entire mall that they were in. I mean, come on, what would you do if you saw 5 hot dudes in maid outfits? Not to mention two hot chicks, a maid and a bunny girl.

Anyway, Zetsu had noticed Sakura shivering, and decided to give her his coat. Unfortunately, although his costume had long sleeves, it fully revealed his maid outfit. The bunny girl thanked him, wrapping the green wool jacket around her naked arms and shoulders. She sent a sympathetic look to him, since he was getting even more stares.

The green haired vice-leader had decided to go with a more Japanese look. He wore a normal length, comfortable black kimono with a long white apron and ruffles along the edges. He had long hair extensions (Sakura briefly thought of how hard it had been to find green hair extensions) in a low bun and a simple yet elegant clip keeping it together. With extended bangs hanging over half his face, he actually looked pretty…pretty.

He lightly blushed in shame and looked to his feet. The others chuckled, still shielded by their own coats. Sighing (again), Sakura took off the coat and covered the green haired maid. He looked to her, bewildered. "Thanks for warming me up, but you're the one who needs it more right now," she shrugged, and continued walking. He smiled, and did the same.

They stopped at a McDonalds and got something to eat, careful not to ruin their costumes, before heading to the convention.

They walked quickly to the stage site, looking for the idiot group.

They finally spotted them when they arrived. They all sighed at the sight of the remaining Akatsuki members.

Hidan was fooling around with num chucks, a concussion waiting to happen, and Kakuzu didn't want to pay if he actually had a fractured skull. Hell, he'd have finished the idiot off if it weren't for the funeral costs. Though he could always just bury him in a ditch. Hmm, Kakuzu began thinking deeper into this possibility…

Kisame was drunk, flashing nerds passing by, and he really went all out, though Sakura had a suspicion Hidan and or Deidara had something to do with what he was wearing underneath… Itachi's apathetic face twitched, and the pinkette could see his hands fisted, restraining himself from doing something violent, like killing him.

Deidara was stabbing random dudes with a syringe, giggling as they yelped. Sasori groaned.

Toby, on the other hand, was happily stuffing candy into his miko uniform (or is it just miko…?), and the Akatsuki simply watched as his chest somehow shaped into mounds…big mounds

Anyway, despite their erratic behavior, they were actually hot…for cosplaying dudes. Well, not Kisame, since he's huge and has a muscular body from swimming, but besides that the rest of them had done good.

Hidan had extensions tied into twin buns held by a large red flower, sort of reminding Sakura of Tenten, and the short red Chinese dress had long sleeves so you couldn't see his arms (which quite possibly had muscles, judging from when Sakura felt him when she beat the shit out of him). Even though the dress was short, his legs were covered by long stockings that went all the way to the slit, yes slit (that word makes me think dirty thoughts…very impressive Hidan) and those hid other well built muscles. To finish it off, he had light make up, just enough to make it look feminine and feminine as in pale, satiny looking skin with sparkling lips that complimented the peculiar purple eyes. Yeah, Hidan may have been the most moronic (besides Toby) of the Akatsuki, but the man was a _genius_.

Deidara already had long, silky blond hair that fell naturally over his face, but he had put on makeup so his eyelashes appeared longer and his actual eyes seemed shinier. His lips were also rosier. The blonde's pink nurse costume was just below the butt and he had matching stockings that went mid thigh. He was definitely gaining some wandering eyes. Well…more than usual.

Finally, the usually lollipop masked raven had switched to a cat mask. His shrine maiden dress thing was the usual white and red, but it oddly suited him. He too, somehow, had extensions (how could that absent-minded idiot put in extensions?), and they really suited him. His hair now appeared to be waist length and tied in a pony tail at the nape of the neck. The dude's bangs, which were also long, framed is mask in a way that gave him a graceful look.

Finally, the sharky was…bizarre. He had poorly attached fake pig tails and he was obviously too large for the clothes. The skirt was way too short for him and exposed hairy, muscular legs. And the puffed shoulders did ** not **work. The poor maids shuddered at him, but went to their respective partners. Pein and Konan, being the only completely mature partners, and Sakura were left.

Shrugging, the leader spoke, "I guess we might as well go to the stage while they're fixing up their idiots." The only girls (in the competition, since it preferred male Cosplayers) nodded in agreement and followed the man-maid to back stage. The organizers had us sit down, and the others joined us about 5 minutes later.

Finally, it was starting.

"Hello anime fans from everywhere! We're here to see just which male is the best at Cosplay! Though that doesn't mean we're completely female-less! But that's for the end! Let the show begin!" shouted a tan haired guy into the microphone.

Someone gestured for Itachi to go. He complied, taking off his jacket. His friends all stared wide eyed at his get up.

"Our first contestant! He's part of the group entry, 'Dawn of Maids'! Itachi Uchiha!" announced the man-boy.

Itachi walked to the center of the stage, and it all went quiet.

His long raven locks were tied in a ponytail, hanging over his shoulder. The weasal wore a short, red maid dress, long sleeved and a frilly white apron. His legs were also covered by black and white stripped stockings. He lifted his skirt a bit and curtsied. "Welcome Back, Master," he said and walked back off stage. Agape mouths were worn by _everyone _by everyone who saw, which were a lot of people.

"Holy Shit, 'Tachi! I never knew you could be a maid! And a hot one, too! Can I be yo-" "I will kill you," Itachi interrupted, silencing Kisame. He sulked.

"What a great start! Second, also from the same group as Itachi-chan," Itachi twitched as the entire Akatsuki, plus ally, nearly died of laughter, which was unfortunate to Itachi, "Here comes Sasori-chan!" Now it was the redhead's turn to glare at the announcer. Sighing, he too took off his jacket, getting a similar reaction.

He had hair extensions that went waist length, tired into a braid. His brown maid dress went to his knees, and he wore high black boots that almost went to the knees, so you could still see some of his calf. His dress was long sleeved and the white apron was fairly plain, with the exception of the wavy cut of the straps (is that what they're called? I'm not even sure…) and collar, which had a thin green ribbon tied under it. To add to his brainy hairstyle (braids make me think of glasses girls, and they are smart) and dress color (brown also reminds me of smartness), he adorned black rimmed glasses onto his face.

The crowd went wild, especially after he bowed and spoke, "Have a good day, Master." He inwardly smirked at the ecstatic nerds and left the stage. He knew he was hot stuff no matter the gender.

His fellow Akatsuki members, plus 1, chuckled at him, but was all together complimented at his success.

"What a lovely group we have this year! Let's just hope the rest are just as awesome!"

"Now, would Kakuzu come to the stage?"

The tanned man silently stood, walking past the rose haired maid of their group.

His nearly shoulder length brown hair was down, and his light green eyes were a tad bit darker. His mask was replaced by a large golden scarf, and his dress was dark green, long sleeved, lined with gold. The forest green garment went mid thigh, showing off naturally tanned legs, and had triangular frills. The apron plainly cut, but it, too had gold trims. Although stitch tattoos littered the man's body, they were mostly covered by the long, loose sleeves and grass green and gold vertically striped stockings, and the stockings were half covered by dark brown boots.

He, too, got a loud response, before leaving the stage.

Next was Zetsu, and everyone went wild with his Japanese attire, his elegant looks working with his shameful expression.

Finally, Pein was up. Sakura had noticed he had removed his nose piercings, amazingly not leaving any scars, and half of the ones in his ears. His face appeared clearer, and it was. There were now only 3 rings and duds on each ear, two eyebrow piercings on the right one, and a single lip dud that was on the left side of his face. He had also applied makeup (which may have been why there were no visible scar marks) so his face appeared more feminine. Thanks to the makeup, he didn't need hair extensions because his now girly looking face was suited for short hair.

His dress was dark purple, short, and very frilly and lacey. He had elbow sleeves, and knee high purple boots with white lacey trimming, much like the dress. On the rest of the leader's leg was fishnet, though it surprisingly didn't look weird on a dude. He also wore silver jewelry around his wrists and even had a white headband, a purple bow on top and to the side. Sakura deeply regretted right down to her soul that right then and there, she didn't go to the bathroom.

"Next are the Sound Sailors!"

They knew it was Orochimaru's gang, but they didn't realize what the 'sailor' meant until they stepped on stage.

All of their jaws dropped.

**What.**

Their faces stared in horror and disgust.

**The.**

Heels clacked as they made their way to center stage.

**FUCK?**

Inner screeched in Sakura's head, and honestly, so did she.

'HOW THE FUCK COULD HE EXPOSE INNOCENT MINDS TO SUCH TOTURE?!'

**NEVERMIND INNOCENT MINDS, WHY THE FUCK DO WE HAVE TO SEE…THAT?!**

'MY EYES ARE MELTING!'

**I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE! I WOULD WILLINGLY GO TO HELL IF I COULD FORGET THAT!**

'YOU'RE ALREADY GOING TO HELL AND I WILL KILL THAT SON OF A BITCH FOR DRESSING UP LIKE _THAT_! THIS HAS BEEN THE ONLY MOMENT IN MY LIFE THAT I'M ACTUALLY WILLING TO KILL MY SELF! RIGHT NOW!'

**I gonna puke…**

'I wish I was born blind'

The whole crowd were thinking similar thoughts as they gawked at the five before them on stage.

Sakura was right when she said she saw a magical girl's uniform under the snake's coat.

She didn't know which one, though.

Standing, and smirking their asses off, were five rapists in Sailor Moon costumes.

Orochimaru was Sailor moon, Kabuto was Jupiter, Jugo was Mercury, Suigetsu was Venus and…weird eyebrow dude with white hair (I'm completely blanking on that dude's name) as Mars.

The sight of **that** caused ¾ of the crowd to puke, and every God Damned person within a mile radius shuddered.

Thanking God when they left, the announcer shakily continued.

"O…okay…let's just wrap it up with the last group. Could 'Dudes can make erotic women's clothing work, too' come to the stage?"

The Maids plus bunny girl stared at the idiotic name as the 4 idiots pranced onto stage.

They guys cheered at 3, though Kisame was pretty much stared at with 'are you serious?' looks.

"Alright! Now for the closing, let's have the 2 girls come on stage," the man yelled as he left the stage, walking to Konan and Sakura. He told them what to say, waited for their nod, and left to the bathroom to puke.

The pinkette and bluenette walked on stage with each other, hollers of joy escaping nerds at the hotties.

They faced the crowd, bowed and grinned. "We hope you enjoyed the show!" shouted Sakura, Konan following. "Please come again next year! Here's a little treat for coming~!" purred the leader's girlfriend.

The Akatsuki raised an eyebrow at this, but then they stared at the scene in front of them. Shrieks of encouragement were heard as Pein simply cried. Cried hard, cold tears.

They returned to their friends (allies to one), smiling as if nothing had happened.

"Wha…what…WHAT THE FUCK WAS THA-" "RESPECT!" interrupted a certain giant. "That was awesome! I never thought I would actually ever see tha-" "SHUT UP!" shouted Pein.

After said purple adorned maid finished glaring at the idiots who interrupted, he turned back to Konan with a sorrowful look on his face. "Konan…why?" he asked her. She shrugged. "Seemed like something I would never get to do, and it sounded interesting," she answered. He continued to sulk in a corner.

0000000000000000000000000000 00000000

Obviously, the Akatsuki won. Sakura didn't even know what prize was.

But when she asked, Pein simply thought for a moment, before answering, "there wasn't one!"

She clenched her firsts, flames of pure rage engulfing her. "THEN WHY THE DID I HAVE TO PARTICIPATE AND GET SOMETHING SO ABSOLUTELY _HORRID_ BRANDED IN MY MIND?!"

0000000000000000000000000000 000000000

Groans of pain and growls of frustration could be heard from the boys' bathroom.

The Akatsuki were currently trying to un-Cosplay themselves.

Deidara was washing his face, tediously applying special makeup removal.

Kisame had already changed into normal wear, but was finding it difficult to get the pigtails out.

Hidan had also changed, but had ripped out his buns (he screamed for several minutes) and was having trouble removing all the makeup, since he was only splashing his face with water.

Kakuzu had also removed his maid uniform, and tied on his mouth mask, but he couldn't get his boots off.

When Toby took off him costume, however, a ton worth of candy fell out. He had been able to change his clothes and mask, but he was having a problem getting his extensions out.

Sasori had been able to get his extra hair out, but he couldn't get the knot of the apron loose.

The Uchiha was getting confused by all the frills of his dress. Even though Pein had a similar dress, he was able to get it off, but he was more concerned with getting all his piercings back on. He also discovered why makeup and metal never got along.

The only one that could swiftly and painlessly remove his costume was Zetsu.

He met up with the girls, as they were easily able to get out of their costumes.

The green haired senior sighed as he heard more shrieks of pain. The pinkette laughed. "Don't so down, dude!" she encouraged. Konan nodded in agreement, then thought of a brilliant idea.

"Pein and I are going to get together on Saturday for a date! Why don't you and Zetsu join us?" she asked.

"Sure!" Sakura chirped. Zetsu, on the other hand, was completely flushed. "W-why us two?" he asked. He had never really been around girls. Well, besides Konan, and he definitely didn't take them out on dates. The blue haired secretary smiled. "Because I think a girl like Sakura can open up your shell (pun intended)!"

Zetsu sighed. Sakura grinned.

* * *

**I hope you liked it! I left what Konan and Sakura did to your imagination~! Please review if you like it or have a problem with it! Also, even though I swung towards Sakura and Zetsu, what pairing do you guys really want? Minus Pein, since he's got Konan. Put it in a review or vote on the poll I'm going to make right after this. Well, I hope you enjoyed this! Next chapter is 'Date'! Look forward to it!**

**PEACE**

_9_Cat**Lives**


	5. Next Morning

**Here it is! Sorry in advance for saying 'fuck' a lot and inappropriate stuff. Includes inferred yaoi. If you have no idea what that means, just read the chapter. It took a while, me being my usual oblivious self, to get the poll on my profile page, but feel free too go vote! Here are the ones so far**

**Deidara, Zetsu, and Tobi-1**

**Sasori, Hidan and Itachi-2**

**Thank you for the reviews! Please continue reviewing! Enjoy~!**

**Diclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

* * *

_What the fuck?  
_

That was what Sasuke and Naruto were thinking all Monday after lunch, since their friend since fucking 3rd grade, their innocent and weak buddy Sakura, was actually a kickass bi-polar, or it was all a lie, or she turned into a super-strong bitch because of aforementioned 'training'.

Either way, she was different than the friend they thought they had known inside out.

Sasuke and Naruto had discussed that night about how to confront her, which ended in intimate, and **loud**, fucking. (I'm really sorry Ms. Someone, but this is an AkaSaku story, and I really need _some_ yaoi, so hell yeah am I throwing in sasunaru)

They discussed it more on their way to school (Naruto subtly limping), and they began searching for the pink mop they (thought) they knew so well.

"There!" shouted Naruto, pointing to the direction that he had spotted pink.

The blonde rushed through the crowded entrance to reach his friend, his boyfriend hastily trying to catch up with him.

Unfortunately, by the time they had escaped the crowd, they couldn't find the pink anymore.

000000000

Sakura had a shitty night.

She came back from the scarring and shameful convention at midnight. She moaned all the way back to her house about the damn coldness, snake skinning that she needed to do and learning how to make leather.

She trudged up the staircase and headed into the shower, thanking God for the riddance of the devil's taken form of a bunny suit and warm water.

She did have her own home; Tsunade had helped her get a job as a nurse, yeah, a nurse, and pretty kick-ass one too.

After a good hour of enjoying the heavenly warm water, she decided she didn't want a huge water bill and turned it off.

The moment she stepped out of the steam filled bathroom, she cursed. "Damn it! I was fucking enjoying that!" she shouted to no one in particular.

Sighing, she got dressed in her favorite fuzzy black pajamas with scattered red polka dots. After plopping down on her fluffy pillows and cloud-like comforter and bed, she was actually getting into a pretty good mood. She didn't really like going to bed at 1:30, but she felt good.

Until she heard moans.

_FUCK!_

Moans of pleasure filled her ears, pleads of stopping were stuttered, but soon became begs of continuing.

_Don't the stupid-ass fucktards know that I'm RIGHT FUCKING NEXT DOOR?!_

**They can really screw, judging by the level of ecstasy in the sounds and how they're progressing in the stages.**

'What stages?'

**Everyone knows there are stages. The cause, like something horny that turns one or both of them on, is first. Then making out, then tongue, then earlobe, neck hickies, taking off shirt, hickies down the chest, though for this stage it can either be kisses or licking. Eventually the mouth gets low enough-**

'Don't you even dare continue. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why the hell would I want to know that? How the fuck do you even know that? Have you not forgotten that I've already been scarred once tonight? Don't even _think _of putting the mental image of…THAT in my mind!' Sakura thought irritably to her inner.

'I know they've been dating since 7th grade, but the hell does it mean that they can fuck so loudly!'

The pinkette's face twitched, repeatedly, as the moans turned into pants and screams of pleasure.

Oh yeah, they were dead.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

**Stick him real good Sasuke!**

'SHUT UP!'

This happened, for _two fucking hours. _

By 3:30, Sakura was rocking in the corner biting her nails, her thoughts disturbing even the cruelest demons in hell.

'I'm going to kill them'

Was what she repeatedly chanted.

What's worse was that she dreamed the most horrible nightmare of her life.

She was walking down a dark alley, when all of a sudden a bright light was lit behind her. She spun around, only to freeze at the sight.

The Sound Sailors were standing in front of the light, becoming almost silhouettes.

The Sailor Snake hissed, "Come with us, dear, and we'll make sure you're happy~"

"NNNNOOOOOOO! HE'S GONNA RAPE ME!"

Thus was why she was in a really bad mood in the morning.

She had woken up 10 minutes before school started, so she could only get dressed, not eating breakfast, and sprint to school. Only when she arrived panting gallons of air did she realize that her clock was broken and it was still 45 minutes before classes.

She decided to let off some steam at the boxing club.

Incidentally, that ended with all the members getting bloody-noses, for multiple reasons.

She glared at the pile of unconscious males in the ring as she left, as they provided little challenge. Maybe she should fight with Hidan again? That might give her some satisfaction and get her in a better mood.

She loitered around the gate until a steady flow of students were coming in. Sighing, she started walking to her class, only slightly registering a wave of gasps coming towards her.

She was taken by complete surprise when Konan, Pein, Hidan, Kakuzu and Zetsu came up behind her.

"Hey bitch!"Hidan greeted cheerfully.

"I'm not in a good mood, pathetic piece of shit," answered the still moody freshman."Why's that, Cherry?" asked Konan, ignoring the silverette shouting swears and glaring at their ally.

Sakura groaned at the memory.

"I arrived late for one, but then I couldn't sleep for two more hours because my buds were fucking too loudly next door," "_What?" _theystared/gaped/both at her, with the exception of Konan who squealed in glee, "and then I dreamt of the Sound Sailors."

"Oh, you poor, poor dude," exclaimed Zetsu, which Sakura sadly nodded to.

"Wha-wait, dudes were fucking next door? How the hell did you know they were dudes? Or that they're actually your fucking friends, and why the fuck aren't you surprised?" rambled the Jashinist, still gaping wide-eyed and stuck at her words.

Sakura sighed and explained, "If they kept me up for two hours, I think I could be able to tell if the moans and screams of ecstasy were male or not. My friend lives next door, he's a dude, and again I could hear his voice. I've known about them dating for a little over two years now."

The others, minus Hidan, nodded in understanding.

"By the way," started the cherry blossom, "where is the rest of your gang?"

"Toby used to be with us, but he got caught up in the crowd, and the rest either slept in," "Kisame and Deidara," "or waited for them," "Itachi and Sasori."

"But Hidan seems like the kind of dude who sleeps in," observed Sakura. "What was that, pink haired tramp?"

"He is, but," Pain began, only to have Kakuzu finish. "I just dump boiling water on him when I get to his house."

"Sasori also doesn't have very much patience, so after about 5 minutes he-""OW! FUCK, DANNA, YEAH! WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO DO IT EVERY FRICKING MORNING, YEAH!" "Will stomp on his jewels and throw in out the window," explained Zetsu. Sakura nodded, not really caring about the fact that that would kill a normal person, physically, emotionally, and psychologically.

By this time, they had already gone into the school and came to the staircase.

"We have to go, come to the roof for lunch," Pein ordered.

"Later, cherry!" Konan smiled, waving good-bye. "Later," the freshman grumbled as she parted ways with the Akatsuki and headed to her own class.

Slamming open the door, the pinkette walked into a suddenly quieted room, not that she really gave a damn. The demon was not in the mood at the moment, and casually strutted (is that even possible?) to her desk.

Immediately, the two people who caused her late-night misery came before her.

Her rage burned hotter than hell's flame, as she gave a cold glare that conveyed how extremely pissed she was.

The two lovers were extremely freaked out by the glare, already sweating profusely and backing away from the person with the wrath equivalent to a starved cat soaked in ice cold water and kept in a small box for a day in a bag (that makes me sad, so don't worry, the cat was rescued and the son of a bitch owner who did that was judged and shot).

"Guys," she started sweetly with a smile on her face, luring them to believe that she wasn't actually that mad. Fuck, were they wrong.

"I don't give a fucking **shit **how much you love each other, next time you stay up in the middle of the night to screw, you fucking teasing duck-butted ass, I will go over to your house and castrate you, then cut off your tongue. Do it in your own frickin' **humungous** mansion, jackasses."

They nodded furiously and almost ran away just to be out of killing distance, but Sasuke stopped and remembered his purpose, holding onto his boyfriend's collar.

Signaling toward Sakura, the blonde looked weary but nodded all the same.

"Sakura, um," the blonde began, looking to Sasuke for encouragement. The Uchiha smiled, and nodded. With a new determined glint, Naruto looked to the Haruno.

"I know that you might hate us, or that you've always hated us, but…can we stay friends? And get to know the real you?"

The pinkette stared at them for a second, before sighing.

"Knock yourself out, but I…'befriended' some other people and I'm eating with them at lunch. Don't bug me about them, kay?" she ordered. They (Naruto) gleefully nodded and left.

The teacher walked in, and began taking attendance, but was interrupted.

Interrupted by a scream.

"NOOOOO! HELP TOBI!"

Thus was the terrible beginning to another terrible day.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed it! Don't forget to review! My self appointed deadline this time is April 21, 5:30 p.m. It might be here earlier, but that's unlikely. Look forward to knowing just what the hell is happening to Tobi~**

**Happy Post-Eater, April Fool's day, and Watanuki's Birthday!**

_9_Cat**Lives**


	6. Tobi Kidnapped!

**Hello! Thank you for the reviews and everything else! As much as I would like to cut this short so you can go and read, I have an important announcement. After 6:00, I will into a month long preparation to write around 15 chapters, some long, some short, some new stories, some updates. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to complete one of my updates that I should have done, so it will be updated with the rest in a month. I say month, but it's actually going to be at the start of summer. That's why I doing all this. It's the first annual Start of Summer Celebration. Since it's the first, I'm going to publish a whole bunch of new stories, so I'm not going to be adding a whole bunch of other stories for a while. The following one should only be a grand fest of updates, but that's in a year. Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please review if you have any questions about the chapter or SSC. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

**Here are the votes so far!**

**Deidara- 1**

**Zetsu- 2**

**Tobi- 1**

**Sasori- 3**

**Hidan- 2**

**Itachi- 2**

**Madara- 1**

**Kakuzu- 1**

* * *

Growling, Sakura abruptly stood up from her desk.

All eyes were on her, but she didn't care, and she didn't know why. She didn't know why she cared about that scream. She was positive it came from Tobi, but she had just allied herself with the guys yesterday, so why was she was about to rush out of class to go and help him?

Sakura was snapped out of her momentary ponderings when the door slammed open.

"Oi, bitch!" Hidan called, head sticking into the classroom, eyes locating the cherry headed girl.

"I heard!" she shouted back, rushing from her seat to the back door of her classroom.

Hidan's head immediately disappeared, not wanting to be in the presence of the pathetic freshmen. It was replaced by Deidara and Sasori's. "We'll be borrowing Cherry!" Deidara informed the teacher, before also leaving. "Sorry about that. Don't wait, though," Sasori said before following the other two.

The whole class looked at the door in shock. Why did the _**Akatsuki **_want Sakura? Then the gears started working for a duck-assed Uchiha and idiotic Uzumaki.

Sakura said she had 'befriended' some other people. Those other people were actually the Akatsuki.

They were in shock; Sasuke was concealing it pretty well, but Naruto loosing it, but since Naruto was always a little weird, let's go to Sakura, shall we?

00000000000

Sakura was running down the hallway, Hidan, Sasori, and Deidara soon following.

"I didn't know ketchup and mustard liked salt," Sakura said casually.

"Who the fuck are you calling salt?!" "I like mustard." "And I like ketchup, yeah!"

The pinkette looked blankly at them for a minute before she burst into laughter. That made them confused.

She answered, still chuckling at their obliviousness. "I-I never *laughter* knew y-you sw-*laughter*swung that way! *full blown laughter*"

That stared at her, before Hidan started bellowing just as loudly and Sasori and Deidara began steaming. "No I don't! I would never like danna that way, yeah!" protested Deidara, Sasori soon continuing, "What wuld ever make you think I liked this idiot? He doesn't even know what true art is."

That added petroleum to the fire, and just as the girly blond was about to yell something back, the rest of the Akatsuki appeared.

"What are you idiots doing? You're going too slowly!" the tanned, masked man snarled. "Sorry," Sasori answered solemnly. He really didn't like to wait or keep others waiting, so he felt extremely depressed.

The Akatsuki plus ally made their way to the place they heard their most idiotic member's scream from, which was the cafeteria. This was not surprising; Tobi was an absolute candy glutton.

When they arrived, it was empty, with only an eerie silence remaining. Pein frowned; the rest of the people wearing similar expressions. "Spread out," ordered Pein, all of them heading in different directions with their respective partners.

Sakura was with Zetsu. He looked emotionless, but Sakura knew he was worried about his partner. The pink haired demon, being the angel she was, then decided to cheer in up.

Playfully punching his shoulder, she said, "Don't worry Zet-chan!" "Zet-chan?" "Tobi'll be fine! He must be a member of the Akatsuki for a reason! Sakura attempted to reassure him. Keyword, attempt.

He looked even sadder. "That's what I afraid of. If the situation is too bad for him to handle and he fights back, I worry he won't be able to get out of a murder charge again." "_Again?" _"What's more, it puts terrible strain on his body." Sakura was too shocked about the whole murder thing to answer, though.

"Hey Guys! I found a note, yeah!" shouted Deidara. Everyone immediately ran to the blond, crowding around him.

"What does it say?" asked Sasori.

"What? Nothing! Why would it, yeah?" answered the long haired teen.

That earned him a smack on the head. "Then how the fuck is it a note?!" shouted Hidan.

"But is is, yeah!" Deidara whined, holding it up.

The Akatsuki (plus ally) stared at the foot long eight note, the one with a flag.

"It was those Sound bastards," everyone stated.

Those rapists have done it now.

0000000000000000

"Let Tobi go! Tobi is a good boy!" chanted the masked Akatsuki member.

Members of the Snake club, a club in Sound High School, surrounded the squirming sophomore, who was tied with ropes.

"Lord Orochimaru doesn't want that," Kabuto answered, a gleam in his glasses and a sadistic smirk on his face.

…

…

…

…When did it turn into a cult?

"BUT TOBI WANTS TO GO HOME!"

Kabuto 'tsked'. Why did he have to watch over the brat? Oh yeah. Because the pedo-god ordered him to.

"Be a good boy. You_ are _a good boy, aren't you?" asked the medic. Tobi vigorously nodded. The other smirked.

"Well, be a good boy and keep quiet, okay?" Tobi looked hesitant, but the bastard snake follower knew in his mind that in Tobi's head, it made sense.

Kabuto kneeled down, now at eye level with the masked boy. He played with his hair a bit, before his hand began to travel down. Tobi whimpered. He didn't like this. He wanted Wee-Wee-nii-chan (Itachi=weasel) and Zet-nii-chan and now Cherry-nee-chan.

"_**If you really don't like, why not let me take over?"**_

But that voice in Tobi's head was stopped from continuing by loud banging on the door. Growling, Kabuto stopped (which Tobi was thankful for) and went over to a monitor on a desk to the side.

Tobi could faintly hear shouting and swears, and he saw silver, blue, red, orange, yellow, and pink on the computer screen. The young Uchiha looked hopefully at the door of the warehouse.

0000000000

"Why won't the damn fucking thing open?!" growled Hidan. He, Kisame and Zetsu had been trying to open the big ass door to the warehouse for the past 5 minutes! Who knows what could be happening to Tobi in there?

Sighing with slight amusement at the Akatsuki's pitiful attempts, Sakura stepped up. "Let me give it a try," she suggested, well, more like ordered.

Hidan glared at her. "And why the fuck do you think if we added a little bitch we would be able to open the door?"

"Did you forget that this little bitch kicked your ass?" The silverette's face turned red, from embarrassment or anger, Sakura didn't care.

Walking to the door she continued, "And who the hell said you would be with me? You'd only get in the way." She shooed them off with her hand (which earned an earful of swears from Hidan) and backed up.

The entire Akatsuki, minus Tobi, watched as she breathed in and out, and then charged for the door.

She jumped, her fist by her side and ready to fire. Screaming her signature 'cha', Sakura's fist connected with the metal door. A giant dent (more like crater) was made as the force of the punch pulled the rusted metal from their hinges.

The Akatsuki could only stare and gawk at the small, pink haired girl that just ripped open a huge metal door. Pein, being the leader, was first to compose himself.

"Let's head in," he ordered, waking the rest from their frozen state.

They charged in to find a fainted, silver haired bastard on the floor (they had a suspicion as to why, but didn't say anything) and a cheering Tobi wiggling on the floor like drunken worm.

They left the warehouse and went back to school to have their lunch on the rooftop, though they didn't untie Tobi and Kabuto was left naked with comments written by all the Akatsuki minus Tobi plus ally…and left tied upside down on the flag pole.

Yeah, they were bastards, but you wouldn't want it any other way.

**The en**-hold it!

Didn't I say last time it was only the _start _of a terrible _**day? **_

What was awaiting Sakura at school was not something nice. It was something mean, cold, strong, and...drunk.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed it! See ya in a month! Don't worry! It's worth the wait!**

_9_Cat**Lives**


	7. Tsunade's Test!

**I'm super sorry about the long wait! I was doing something for my little bro for a few days, not to mention getting sucked into Natsume Yuujinchou thanks to my sisters, and that threw everything off track, but still, you've finally got it! I hope you enjoy and please review! Sorry if it was too short, but it'll probably be better next time. Oh, and as far as I can tell, Sasori is in the lead, so vote on the poll which one should the main pairing be! After the next chapter, the poll will be closed!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

"Why the fuck are you here, teacher?" Sakura could only stare at her guardian and teacher wobble around, giggling and punching just about any male within a meter of her.

This includes Hidan, Kisame, Deidara, Tobi and Kakuzu.

"Don't approach a lady when she is agitated or drunk. It could lead to your death in many ways," Itachi lectured.

"Oi, there's a girl right here," Konan and Sakura said together. "Exactly," piped in Sasori. The pinkette shot glares at the puppeteer.

"Oi, oi, oi~! Saakuuraaa~!" beckoned the the blonde. "Where did you find these men?"

Sakura stared at her. "Why?"

"Because these men are hot~!" she cheered. Sakura facepalmed. "But that only means they'll betray you!" she shouted.

The still conscious ones quirked an eyebrow. "You!" she pointed a slender finger at them. She squinted, then corrected, "...s."

"To know that you won't betray my student as countless have done to me," '_I can see why' _"You will have to prove you are trustworthy!"

…

…

"Hah?"

"You heard me, pathetic, inferior males!"

"Why do I have a feeling this is going to hurt?" muttered Zetsu. "Starting with you!" the older blonde shouted at the green haired male. "W-what?"

"You're the quiet type that lurks in the corners, peeping on ladies!"

"W-what?! No, I don't-""But also a serial rapist and killer!""NO I'M NOT!""I DEEM YOU UNTRUSTWORTHY!""OOOOOWWWWWWW!"

Straight up fist to the jaw. Zetsu took a trip to Russia!

Deidara and the other idiot males were waking up about now, by the way.

The blonde she-male walked over to the blonde actual female. "That was amazing, grandma!"

Oh. Oh no. The poor idiot.

"UNTRUSTWORTHY! NO RESPECT AND CROSSDRESSES! I WON'T LET PERVERTS LIKE YOU NEAR MY STUDENT!"

High kick to the gut this time. It sent him twirling like the ballerina he is into the wall, and he stayed there for a looong time.

"W-wow..." Kisame stuttered. He has a thing for strong women. Tsunade is indeed strong. But she is a cougar. She will draw in, wrap you around her claw, then go for the throat.

Anyway, Kisame, deciding to prove himself to this blonde, big-boobed chick (even if she is middle aged), he decided to pass her test.

"I can pick her up and protect her! I'm a trustworthy person, right?" the blue skinned shark-person exclaimed, picking up the pinkette (non-bridal style). Unfortunately, no matter how blue or how sharky, it does not cure or make you immune to idiocy. That stuff is the true killer.

"YOU'VE JUST PROVED YOU'RE AN ABDUCTING PERVERT! UNTRUSTWORTHY! DIE!"

Oooo, knee to his chin then an elbow to the head, going in the opposite direction. Talk about a face-plant.

"Sorry about these idiots," Sasori apologized, pausing in his eating of a random brownie. "Trustworthy!" she declared, giving him a thumbs up.

"What? Why?" Kisame asked, although muffled by the earth. He was still conscious? Well, a stomp on his buddie changed that.

"He was polite and stopped his eating to apologize! Perverts would never be so polite!"

'_Isn't that just a generalization?' _they all thought_. _

'Excuse me, but could please stop doing these-" Pein was interrupted, however, when he pointed an accusing finger at him. "Piercings! He's a bad influence that will make you get fugly body art (I just like that word, and forgive the body art thing, I don't judge) and do drugs (don't do drugs)!

"What?"

"Therefore...UNTRUSTWORTHY!"

The poor leader got it good, or should I say bad? Cause usually, you don't want several broken ribs and to be stuck in a tree...like a kitten.

Hidan, who had been laughing his ass off, stopped to pick up ************. "TRUSTWORTHY!""Huh?""You picked up litter! He's a good influence!"

Hidan smirked, crossing his arms over his puffed with pride chest. Sakura just stared at her teacher. Hidan trustworthy? Bullcrap!

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" the masked Uchiha screamed, still tied and hoping to them. "Trustworthy!""What?""He maybe a pervert because of the creepy mask, but he's tied himself up for self-restraint!"

Sweat drops.

"Oi Kakuzu! I'm trustworthy! In your face!" boasted the Jashinist. Tsunade looked to the said money-grubber. "You are UNTRUSTWORTHY!""Why?""You've got Cock in your name!""...Seriously?""Fuck yeah!"

Kick to the head and he was out like a light.

"This is getting troublesome," the other Uchiha, who had been quiet this whole time (probably from being choked by laughter), complained. "You are untrustworthy," Tsunade said, kind of surprising the remaining conscious and semi-sane ones.

"Why?"

"You're an emo that will make my student cut herself."

"I'll try not to do that."

He sat down in some corner. Tsunade left him alone, much to the disappointment of the males.

Then she promptly passed out.

"What should we do?" Sasori asked. Sakura shrugged, "Let's just leave them here. Lunch period's about to end."

...How heartless.

**I hope you enjoyed, and will patiently wait for the rest of the day! Though if you review, it might come faster~! Anyway, thank you so much for the reviews! I'm really sorry because I have not updated this story in 7 weeks! Almost two months! Outrageous! Well, Thanks and later! **

_9_Cat**Lives**


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